this is my blog

i seem to be having a good day today. as i ask myself what makes a good day for me. the answer is a general good feeling that is brought on by various combinations of details. so today i woke up not feeling exhusted, i remembered to bring my lunch, it snowed for the first time in awhile so it is beautiful outside, i did really well on my piano quiz on tuesday, and i like my new job. so today the preceeding details have made it a good day so far.

i was thinking about songs that talk about good days. the one that comes immediately to mind is the classic “it was a good day” by ice cube. even though my good day is now where comparable to his i get why it’s a good day for him. i think the song is a general guideline for a good day if you are unsure you are having one. please note the following excerpt from the song:

“No helicopter looking for a murder
Two in the morning got the fat burger
Even saw the lights of the goodyear blimp
And it read ice cube’s a pimp
Drunk as hell but no throwing up
Half way home and my pager still blowing up
Today I didn’t even have to use my a.k.
I got to say it was a good day.”

we are trained that love should be the key component of marriage. everything will workout if you just have the love. the irony of such an idea is that most people do not have the same definition of what love is. many feel it’s not definable. i feel i was taught love falls into the category of happy feelings. it’s not that i disagree i just feel love’s intensity is also felt in the category of pain or sadness just as much as if not more than the happy category.

i think love is most identifiable by an experience or thought that you may never see someone again. i had an experience like that last night and i was terrified and wrecked with sadness at the thought of this person being taken out of my life. i experienced at a core level how much i love that person. on the other side of the scale there are faimily members in my life that i am not phased about never seeing again. even one who tells me they love me. but i have to honestly say i am unaware that i love that person in return.

so this brings me to how you come to love someone. we all heard the expression ‘to fall in love’. that typically is reserved for a person/friend you develop a romantic relationship with (or want to). if this is a process that happens naturally then how do families come to love one another. i can see parents loving their kid/s because it is something they created/adopted. but all other family members–how to they grow to love another. is is history based–built on memories? do most of us fake it ’till we make it?

no conclusions yet just streaming brain output.

i have recently accepted a new job. as much as i see the flimsy side of happiness…i am thrilled. this will be the first job that forsee encompassing my various skills and interests. many of the jobs i’ve had so far have not come close to utilizing my technology and design skills. this job will take them to the next level. and as far as interests go, i will now be paid to learn the things i have always been interested in. there are a lot of tech jobs that do not have any human interaction but this one does. i will be able to work with people in a training setting which i enjoy. i’d say the final accent to this job is a boss that has a very co-operative approach to management and training.

we will see. it all begins monday.

there is a song by the band spoon i have been listening to lately. don’t ask me the name. it’s song number 5 on the o.c. mix 1 soundtrack. that’s right, i love a teen drama.

anyway a phrase from the song keeps playing in my head “we put faith in our concerns”. i’ve never heard that before. it’s so true though. we believe, have faith that, our concerns have truth. i am drawn to this idea because i do not experience the same faith in my concerns as i do my happinesses. concern has always seemed more real than happiness. happiness has always seemed more flimsy. i am boggled by this (or should i say blogged).

the classic example is when someone tells you you look nice. this is something positive noted in your memory but you are not concerned about why you look nice. if someone tells you you look tired then you are immediately concerned, after cursing them under your breath, and will spend a notable amount of time being concerned about your perceived tired appearance.

i understand why i, and many others, think this way but i can’t explain it. why does it sound so weird to say we put faith in our happiness?

my partner and i have been discussing the what we think our idea of marriage is. we both come from divorced families so to us, getting married is the only sure way to ever get divorced. as i think about our discussion and try and craft my thoughts on marriage i did what i normally do to start the brainstorming process…ask webster and then ask his friend thesaurus.

here is what webster says:

Main Entry: mar·riage
Pronunciation: ‘mar-ij
Function: noun
1 : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a legal, consensual, and contractual relationship recognized and sanctioned by and dissolvable only by law —see also DIVORCE
2 : the ceremony containing certain legal formalities by which a marriage relationship is created

here is what thesaurus says:

Main Entry:
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	union
Synonyms:	alliance, amalgamation, association, bells, confederation, conjugality, connubiality, consortium, coupling, espousal, fatal step, hold matrimony, hook, life sentence, link, match, mating, matrimony, merger, monogamy, nuptials, pledging, sacrament, shotgun, spousal, tie, wedded bliss, wedded state, wedding, wedding bells, wedding ceremony, wedlock

i think the time has come to discover a new option for couples who fear the “m” word. i’m thinking something more along the comicbook/superhero theme. some sort of ass-kicking team…possibly some sort of uniform would be involved. or possibly couples could just become a corporation–there is a potential for more tax breaks with this option.

well this is a work in progress.