this is my blog

jeff had a linux meeting he had been planning to go to for sometime now that our friend was presenting at. he invited his mom and brother but once learning about the topic and that the meetings typically go for two hours they decided not to go. so all four of us had an irish meal and then dropped jeff at the meeting. then the three us of went to a “real” coffeehouse and played scrabble. i truly had a fun time. i was able to relax more because i didn’t have to be near strained attitude i sensed in jeff.

during this trip i feel i bonded more with jeff’s brother. i think each of us had an incorrect perception of the other and as time goes on that is changing. i am not sure it was to the point of judgement just that assumption you do not have a lot in common with another person. it’s cool because he has similarities to jeff that i am already comfortable with but clearly entact with his own unique interesting personality. i think he and i are interested by this idea of sibling-in-law.

 playing games last night and me being relaxed was also a cool way to end the trip with pam too. i’m sure she missed having jeff there but was glad to know he was doing something he enjoyed and felt comfortable knowing he was close by.

 i’m sure i’ll have more to say about this idea of family-in-law.

jeff’s mom and brother are here visiting. it is sincerely great to have them in bloomington. we are proud of the life we have made here and enjoy sharing that with them. it has been fairly stressful so far because there has been flooding in the area were jeff’s mom is staying. so there has been a lot of detours and extra driving just to get anywhere. to me this is added strain to our typical visit.

i find that when we are visitng with jeff’s mom i try and take on more of the conversation with her because she is talkative and jeff and his brother tend to not talk as much around her (seems most people are like this around parental units. a sense of not being understood by parents i think). i like talking to pam because i like talking to people in general. i like trying to meet people on their level and see what i can learn by their observations in life. while i feel this dialogue gives a break for jeff i feel it also makes him invisible. i find that as she engages me in in dialogue about our life i am giving answers for both of us. i attempt to ask him his thoughts in an effort to bring him in to the conversation but he usually sticks to one sentance answers.

 so usually about half way into a visit i start feeling like i’m trapped. i keep trying to stay engaged but end up trying to hard to have a conversation. i feel if i do not talk no one will and i have better things to do in life than to sit in akward silence. at the end of a visit i feel like i am coming across overwhelming and become extremly annoying to at least jeff. this frustrates me of course because i feel like i am trying to aid in an akward situation.

clearly the solution is to not take the road of trying to help relieve the akwardness. and that seems to indicate i would be sitting in akward silence which i have clrealy denounced in a previous paragraph. so i’m think the welty boys and their mom need to spend most of their quality time without me.