this is my blog

i just saw little miss sunshine. even though it is not a wes anderson movie it had some reminiscent of some of his characters. a dark comedy filled with sarcasm. the characters are all flawed, as we all are, but there is a begrudging acceptance that the characters have of one another. it’s not in the nice your family so i have to love you sort of way, it’s more of you-are-so-bizarre-i-do-not-know-how-to-process-you sort of thing so until the craziness passes i’ll just keep moving forward. the characters also seem to have a realization at the end of the movies to be who they are on the inside. this is usually reached by a series of events that are both hysterical and incredibly sad. everyone’s hopes and dreams smash together at once. i love it. time after time the awkwardness i share with the characters sends me to tearful laughter.

i wish i could see life more often with this sort of lens. we all experience such awkwardness and sadness and pain but we seem unable to freely share it. i hate the days when i let other people’s action really affect me. instead i’d like to be able to visualize them as a wes anderson character. this would enable me to laugh while while also mustering up some respect for the pain they may carry.

there was a character in the movie tonight that had taken a vow of silence. i was intrigued by the character because he had such angst for life and simply chose to participate in his own way…by not talking. i feel like all i do is talk. i wish i could turn my talking off sometimes. take a vow of silence, grab a pen and pad and take life on one angst ridden day at a time. i like to talk largely because i truly enjoy making people laugh. i think it is my one real gift. when i’m in a bad mood i can have a conversation and i will be brought away from that mood within minutes. it’s cool i guess but i wish i could stay mad sometimes. maybe if i talked less i could tap into my angst a bit more and wield it like a sword on the world. it seems if you stopped talking you would feel more. not being able to emote through verbalizing would cause you to think out your emotion or i guess just bottle it up to power the angst.