so…it’s thanksgiving. having learned my lesson from past experiences, i am not participating in anyone else’s holiday (see post t-day 2005 post). i’m never really sure how i’ll feel when a said holiday comes around but so far today, i’m feeling real fine. i’m kicking it around the house listening to 80s music and cleaning house a bit…my productive way to avoid doing homework. i will be cooking up a roast chicken, homemade cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, and stuffing a bit later. i was going to bake a pumpkin pie but my friend sarah is baking me a combo pumpkin/pecan pie and bringing it by. so i will dine later on and watch a movie here or maybe venture out and see what’s at the theatres.
i did want to work the shalom center thanksgiving but i never heard back from the volunteer coordinator. i actually offered to pick up quite a few hours this week but heard no reply. while i could certainly just drop in, i’m not going to. i guess i just need to feel needed or be giving a purpose.
i have been thinking about family a lot the last few weeks because i have recently received some bills for my mom (property tax on some land i did not know she owned). i am not sure how this company tracked me down but they did. in efforts to sort this issue out i contacted the county tax office back home. this is property she and my birth father purchased and they transfered into her name. the woman i spoke with reviewed the transcript of the account with me. apparently my birth father had called in reference to the property and when he learned they were sending me information he tried to get my address from the tax office. the woman i was speaking to was the same woman who spoke with my birth father. thankfully she did not give him my address.
another thing that has gotten me thinking about my “family” is my art. because i was raised by someone who i was not a blood relative i do not buy in to the family blood connection thing. i think the blood connection people feel with their family members is really built by memories, mutual experiences and proximity. that being said i know that several of my blood relatives of are the artistic persuasion. i have seen paintings by my birth parents. my uncle is a painter, sculptor, and art professor. my other uncle and his dad are photographers. so having not spent very much time around them growing up, how did, if at all, their artistic pursuits affect me. i was never nurtured to do anything artistic, i just wanted to. i also had no interest in photography until i was exposed to it in my former job. i’m not sure i will ever figure out where my artistic tendencies come from and i’m not sure it matters if i do figure it out.
all of the above being said, i just want to state that i feel ok today. not really happy, not really sad, just content in my own skin for the time being.
