this is my blog

i am unsure how the apple interview went. the first session i thought went fine, it was with mike an assistant operations manger. he asked pretty basic questions to get to know me and my experience. he was particularly interested in why i wanted to do genius bar instead of creative. he asked me about hours and if i could start as soon as november 3rd if needed. he then asked about the holidays and if i would be around. i said yes to both.

the second session was with another mike. he is the genius bar manger. our interview was short, he only had a few questions for me. he then asked me if i had any questions. i did. i asked him what the training program was like. he said it was a combination of home study, training at corporate, and then shadowing and mentoring. i was smiling like a stupid fan boy when he was talking about training at corporate. he then said that is why they are so particular about hiring geniuses because the company invests so much in each person. he also reminded me that it is the most sought after position in the store. i explained that was why i brought my resume by in person because i knew it was tough to get in. he confirmed that my schedule was wide open and told me that the hours can be anywhere from 7 am to as late as 11 pm. i told him i didn’t mind the change in schedule and that it would keep things fresh as opposed to working a desk job for the same hours each week. i also explained that being new to the city i was looking for a job that i could settle into for awhile. here’s where i think i ruined the interview. he asked if i had ever come to a genius bar and i explained i had not because i do not buy apple care. i then said i’m one of the few people who do not need to buy it because i can fix my own problems (what i meant of course is that us tech people can solve our own problems not that i’m an uber bad ass along with just a handful of elites). he then asked if i had anymore questions for him. it had a weird tone to the questions as if to suggest i asked too many already. i said no and the interview was over. he said it was nice to meet me but did not shake my hand. so hopefully this guy just had to pee or something. but if you take into account my interview history here so far…. they said i’d hear something within a few weeks.

so i am brooding. since u of c did not call back this week apple is the only job lead i have right now. is it possible that i am over analyzing this apple interview? of course but i’m unemployed and it is making me crazy. if i hadn’t already gone to several really great interviews and not been hired i might not have such a complex. it is hard not to feel like there is something wrong with me. on the good days i can see that i am just another highly skilled person the job market,

i would love a shot at being a genius. while i could probably get higher pay somewhere else, i would not have the advancement opportunities i would have at the store. i also feel like in all my other jobs i have been so close to being a real geek. i want to dive into the geek pool. i am willing to put in all of the work to earn and maintain the title i just need the opportunity.

today is the genius bar interview. i’m interested to see if the positions they are hiring for will actually be at the michigan avenue store or the new store at 108 state street. there is not an opening date that i can find but apple is advertising positions at the state street store address. i need to find a shirt to wear to the interview so i’ll head over to the brown elephant and see what i can find. i’ll probably find something to do downtown after the interview to make the most of the trip. maybe i’ll roam into all of the chocolate boutiques and load up on free samples. i’ve also been craving deep dish pizza exponentially for months and gino’s east is near the apple store so…

not sure what i’m up to tonight. supposedly there is a halloween parade in boystown tonight so that should be a riot for sure. there is also a critical mass today. part of me wants to try another ride. the monthly rides draw hundreds, sometimes over a thousand, riders. maybe i’ll just go to look and not to ride. it’s cool that bikers are acting on the right to gather but i do not think it is effective. it seems like it would just piss off drivers. but i guess it is effective in giving bikers a voice.

btw, thanks to everyone for your support with the leslie and vince situation. ryan’s blog is already the number one google hit when you search vince’s name. woot woot!

i talk to friends on the phone which is a saving grace (and a special kind of torture) but it not the same as face-to-face. i have needed to lean on my friends a lot lately. this is very hard for me to do and i hope that all of my stable times in life balance out my needy times. the friends i lean on the most right now are all going to major life changes too. two of them are trying settle into a new life in alaska, a mere 4200 miles away from their friends and family. one friend got a teaching job at a terrible school in a worse town. another friend just found out she is pregnant a few months into a relationship. 

it seems i have lost one friend already do to too much leaning. my teaching friend and i got into, what i would call, an argument a few weeks ago. initially there was some resolution but then i noticed our conversations were fewer and far between. as i tried to address it things got worse. i got an email saying things were too intense and the friendship needed a break. i was relieved to get this email because i have been walking on eggshells as things have recently unraveled. i think i am the kind of person who needs to get to the root of a problem and he tends just let things roll off. he says it’s a gender issue but i disagree. with things being so crazy for me right now i am very sensitive which makes me more sponge-like. the side effect of this sensitivity is that smallest thing can make or break my day. i know this will fade away as i make my home here. i can only hope at whatever point our lives intersect again we can be water under the bridge kind of people. i will miss interacting with him because he gets me…mocks me, but gets me.

i am trying so hard to keep my shit together. on a day like today i feel like i will be alone and jobless forever (especially the alone part). i think if it were not for the sierra club work i would have gone completely fucking nuts by now. it has provided some financial relief but, just as important, it has also provided some mental health relief. i feel great when i am designing. i can shut out the world and forget about my woes.

so what’s shaking otherwise?

• i sent my brother an email today from the address he wrote me from. just saying i had replied to the other email address and that it was fine if he needed time to respond but i just didn’t want him to think i didn’t write back. is it too pushy of me to have expected an email reply from him within 7 days? i don’t think so but maybe i’m an asshole. am i surprised? no, not at all. this is classic robertson behavior. 
• i have written on this blog several times about my interest in judaism. there is a synagogue a block from my house. i have been wanting to check it out for a month or so but i’m scared. i am not sure if i even want to convert but i definitely want to learn more. i guess i am concerned i will be/feel judged when people find out i’m just, at least for now, jew-curious. i am convinced at this moment that i am going to temple tomorrow which will consist of torah study at 9:15 and service at 10:30. i’m more interested in the torah study but feel like i should experience the service as well. i wish there was someone to go with but i know this is a journey i need to take on my own. 
• there are a couple of bike rides tomorrow. one is a 10-mile social ride on the north side to a place called “beans and bagel.” the other is a midnight ride that starts at “handlebar”, a place cyclists frequent, in bucktown/wicker park and goes by some graveyards. while this sounds awesome i’ll likely opt for the first one. but there is also a ride on sunday that i’ve already signed up for! this may be too much riding for me. i have learned quickly that the schwinn can only comfortably hold me for about 5 miles. i have also been experiencing some back problems which is likely connected to the increased riding on an inadequate seat (i also work for hours on end hunching over at my “desk” which is an end table and a sewing seat).  i am hoping a seat change will help but if i end up commuting further than that for work, like a 30-mile round trip to hyde park to work at u of c, i will need a new bike.
• oh yeah. apple called this week. i have an interview for a genius position next friday! this is only a preliminary interview but i am fucking excited.

  

the only weird thing about the email is that he said he sent it from an email marcy (my genetic mother) could access and provided an alternative email to respond to if i did not want her to know he and i were talking. i thought this was weird because just a sentence or two earlier he acknowledged that she was not one of my favorite topics but wanted to let me know she was okay. i wrote him back the same day (after my tears dried up a bit) at the alternative email. i told him i was writing back to that email not to shut marcy out but because she needed to do her own work to communicate with me. i gave an update about my life and told him i admired the courage it took him to write me. i also told him, because he asked, that it was fine to give my email address to whoever in the family wanted it and i would write them back. i then stated very clearly that if phil (my genetic father) and marcy wanted to reconnect with me they were welcomed to but it would be a really difficult road for them because i harbor so much pain and anger from my childhood. i have yet to hear back from him. so i am not sure if he didn’t get the email or if he just needs time to process. i hope to hear from him soon.

other business in no particular order:

• got a couple more tasks from sierra club green home which is awesome.
• have an interview on thursday. as it approaches i’m getting excited. it is a tech support job at the university of chicago humanities division.
• redesigned my website and added a some sierra club green home work. my website redesign is very minimalist this time. i like it because i feel like it conveys nothing more than what’s there. i do not feel like i am trying to present myself as something that i am not. it’s very take it or leave it i think.
• joined the chicago bicycle federation. i was waiting ’cause membership is $30 but i really need to plug-in here in chicago and this seems to be a likely group. i also need to start gearing up for winter biking.
• went on a critical mass ride today but i’ll write more about that later. there is also a walk and ride i am participating in this sunday. sign up was free so i figured why not.
• have ridden(?) about 35 miles since sunday. my goal befor next sunday is 50 miles.
• went to nextfest on sunday. also something i will write about later.