disenchanted, sad and alone
I have been miserable the entire week. Some of it has to do with timing. It’s the last week of classes, I have been sick (home for two days with an allergy/bronchitis type thing), and I have been working a lot. I have been in social hibernation mode for awhile now. Some of that is finances, I know if I go out I’ll spend money. Some of my misery has to do with still not knowing if my job has been renewed. I’m frustrated from my brief stint of trying to date. I guess my reaction is nothing new. I’ve made it to a second date with one guy and then I stopped hearing from him. This guy and I actually had some chemistry or so I thought. The guys close to my age want someone younger (for the kid factor) and the guys older than me seem completely happy with there lives and don’t seem to want someone around on a regular basis. So I guess I’m done with “trying” to date. On a day like today I feel like I will never find love. I’ve been in love twice, both times were not reciprocated.
Been thinking about my mom a lot. The first Mother’s Day ad of the year stings me with the pain of her death (she was found dead in her home on Mother’s Day 2003). This year the ad was from Apple and it came right to my inbox. “Make Mom’s day. Get an iPod Touch.” Thanks Apple, what a special kind of torture you have sent my way. I’m thrilled to pieces to think about my dead mom every time I look at a goddamned iPod touch.
Even though it’s a nice day out, I’ve stayed inside except for an excursion to Trader Joe’s. I had big plans to go to the Green Market today and start my eating local buying season (trying to buy locally from May through October). No such luck. Next week is the grand opening. They didn’t even have the indoor market today. I have a plan to go to yoga tomorrow morning and then to Artropolis at Merchandise Mart. But having sinus related coughing and sneezing doesn’t bode well when people are sketched out by Swine Flu. I’m hoping I feel better tomorrow.
Well, I guess this is enough of a shitty attitude for one post.
Posted by
at
23:48:08
Damn yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooou, Apple!-skippy